Give Me ALL

So I am realizing that this blog is becoming more & more a list of things that are resonating with me and my process through them. I think I'm okay with that. Recently, I have been (again) recognizing my need for total surrender to Jesus & His calling, but simultaneously, my total inability to do it. So here are two excerpts: the first from CS Lewis' "Is Christianity Hard or Easy?"; the second from Andrew Murray's Absolute Surrender, which is one of my favorite books of all time.


Is Christianity Hard or Easy?

The ordinary idea which we all have is that...we have a natural self with various desires and interests...and we know something called "morality" or "decent behavior" has a claim on the self...We are all hoping that when all the demands of morality and society have been met, the poor natural self will still have some chance, some time, to get on with its own life and do what it likes. In fact, we are very like an honest man paying his taxes. He pays them, but he does hope that there will be enough left over for him to live on.

The Christian way is different--both harder and easier. Christ says, "Give me ALL. I don't want just this much of your time and this much of your money and this much of your work--so that your natural self can have the rest. I want you. Not your things. I have come not to torture your natural self...I will give you a new self instead. Hand over the whole natural self--ALL the desires, not just the ones you think wicked but the ones you think innocent--the whole outfit. I will give you a new self instead.

The almost impossibly hard thing is to hand over your whole self to Christ. But it is far easier that what we are all trying to do instead. For what we are trying to do is remain what we call "ourselves"--our personal happiness centered on money or pleasure or ambition--and hoping, despite this, to behave honestly and chastely and humbly. And that is exactly what Christ warned us you cannot do. If I am a grass field--all the cutting will keep the grass less, but won't produce wheat. If I want wheat...I must be plowed up and re-sown." 

 Absolute Surrender

Come with that feeble desire. If there is the fear which says--"Oh, my desire is not strong enough. I am not willing for everything that maycome , and I do not feel bold enough to say I can conquer everything"--I implore you, learn to know and trust your God now. Say: "My God, I am willing that You should make me willing." If there is anything holding you back, or any sacrifice you are afraid of making, come to God now and prove how gracious your God is. Do not be afraid that He will command from you what He will not bestow.

So the fighting continues with in my spirit to surrender ALL of me to Jesus. I am humbled by His request for ALL, humbled by my inability to give it, humbled by His patience in waiting for me, and humbled by His grace in accomplishing this great surrender for me!